Deciding to get married is probably one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life. It really is a decision you want to get right. Bad choices, lead to miserable marriages and pain that can often be avoided. As you embark on this important journey of your life, we would like to be by your side sharing our years of experience and wisdom to help you make the right choices and answer questions you may have, however personal.
We believe most people do not have marriage problems, but personal issues and we aim to highlight areas that you need to work on before you get married. We will also be discussing what to look for, what to avoid, how to build love in your marriage and introduce you to parenting. As the Hadith says: “prevention is better than cure” and view this marriage course as an invaluable tool for preventing marriage problems, insha Allah.
This is a 9-week course which will have one live class per week as well as course resources.
The course also has a discussion forum where you are able to ask questions to the course instructors and follow discussions.
This course is suitable for those seeking to get married as well as those already married and wanting to improve their relationship. If you have children at a marriageable age, this course can also be beneficial for you & them.
This course addresses crucial questions such as:
- Am I expected to have intimate relations with someone I hardly know? Is it unreasonable to ask my husband for time after marriage to get to know each other first?
- Do I need to sort my anger issues out before marriage?
- Can marriage help me overcome my porn addiction?
- What do I need to learn prior to getting married?
- Financial considerations! How much should I be earning before marriage? Do I need my own place? What if my wife complains about my income?
- How flexible should I be with my wife visiting her family and going out? What’s the balance between being a kind husband and a doormat?
- The types of contraception and Sharia rulings regarding them
- How much about my past do I need to tell my future spouse?
- How will my life change once I am married?
- How long into the marriage will I know whether I made the right choice?
- I’ve never seen a happy marriage, how will I know what kind of home to build?
- Brothers have advised me I need to be very strict with my wife at the beginning or she will get out of hand and I will never get that control right, is that right?
- How to avoid my mother or mother-in-law controlling us after marriage?
- How to not break my husband’s heart
- Knowing yourself be clear on who you are and what your life goals are so you become clear on what you are looking for in a marriage. What to look for in a spouse and what to do if the parents do not approve. Questions to ask a potential spouse, how many times to meet before marriage.
- Sunnah of marriage, marriage contract.
- Role of the husband: how to be a good husband. How to avoid being a doormat or mummy’s, boy. Balancing mother’s rights with the wife’s.
- Role of the wife: how to be a good wife. Should women work after marriage? How to not break your husband’s heart.
- Intimacy and contraception. Islamic rulings on family planning. When is the right time to start a family?
- What leads to a failed marriage and how to resolve differences. What if I am from a divorced family/seen a bad marriage with my own parents, how can I ensure I do not model their problems.
- Introduction to parenting. How to raise practising children.
- Dealing with one’s in-laws. How to set healthy boundaries with relatives and put your marriage first.
- When should one consider divorce, Islamic rulings on divorce, consequences of divorce? Times when a divorce may be better than staying.
About the Instructors:
Ustadha Hedaya Hartford
Ustadha Hedaya graduated with a Bachelors of Arts in Arabic and Islamic History and Culture from the University of California, Berkeley which set her up for her journey of seeking traditional knowledge that began with the study of the Sacred Law and Sciences in the Middle East.
In Egypt, Ustadha Hedaya studied for over 16 years with Al-Azhar scholars. She completed the second year of Islamic Law at al-Azhar; studied Hanafi fiqh with Dr. Abdul Aziz Izzat and Sheikh Fahmi Abdullah; and studied Aqida with Sheikh Abdul Aziz Batishti.
In Damascus, Syria, for over 7 years, she studied several books in Usul and Hanafi fiqh with Sheikh Hassan al-Hindi; Hanafi fiqh, hadith and hadith sciences with Sheikh Adnan Darwish; Hanafi fiqh with Sheikh Abdul Rahman Arjan; and menstruation and related issues according to the Shafi’i school with Sheikh Hussein Darwish, Anisa Hanan Da’doosh and Dr. Mustafa Khin.
In Amman, Jordan, she studied menstruation and related issues according to the Maliki school with Ustadh Abdus Shakur Brooks; she studied Hanafi fiqh with Sheikh Ahmad al-Jammal and tafsir with Sheikh Ali Hani.
She has published five books providing guidance to people in the West on marriage, marriage contracts, menstruation and a girl’s journey into adulthood. Regarding her book “Initiating and Upholding an Islamic Marriage” Imam Zaid Shakir, USA, says “Drawing on a wealth of knowledge and experience, joined from years of study and counseling, Ustadha Hedaya not only identifies the causes of many contemporary marital problems, but she also addresses them with penetrating and practical solutions.”
Ustadha Hedaya spends much of her days researching so that she has a deep well of knowledge, of traditional, Islamic and contemporary life. She also teaches women’s issues online, coaches most days of the week and practices what she teaches. She is dedicated to spreading sound Islamic teachings and coaching people to be their best selves through love of Allah the Almighty, respecting His boundaries and having good character. Ustadha Hedaya has a unique insight into suggesting simple changes to her clients that result in huge, positive transformations in their marriages.
She lives in Jordan with her husband, Dr. Ashraf Muneeb and 2t2, their much beloved, beautiful blind cat, masha Allah.
Her students have described her as: insightful, generous, wise, witty, reliable, compassionate, devoted, confident, meticulous, inspirational, conscientious, nonconformist, inspiring, encouraging, knowledgeable, nonjudgmental, honest, and has common sense.
Together with Dr. Ayiesha, Ustadha Hedaya currently also offers marriage coaching for individuals and couples at www.muslimmarriagecoaching.com.
Dr. Ayiesha Malik
Dr. Ayiesha was born in London and lives in the United Kingdom. She always had a passion for helping people and for physiology, so she went on to study medicine. She graduated from the University of Birmingham in 2005 with a degree in Medicine.
After training at the hospital her placements included obstetrics and gynecology, psychiatry, accident and emergency medicine as well as general practice. She specialized in the latter and qualified as a member of the Royal College of General Practitioners in 2014.
As she believes in a holistic approach to healthcare she studied a postgraduate certificate in personalized nutrition as well as acupuncture with the British Medical Acupuncture Society and homoeopathy with the Faculty of Homeopathy UK.
Dr. Ayiesha then continued her search to find the best ways to serve people which led her to the realization that ‘the mindset of an individual is the most powerful contributor to well-being’.
This inspired her to study neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), hypnosis, timeline therapy with OPT2XL in 2014 and strategic intervention with Robbins-Madanes Training Centre, the training school of Tony Robbins in 2017. Having grown up in a divorced household herself, she strongly believes in the importance of establishing functional Muslim families as the basis for a strong Ummah. She, therefore, co-founded Muslim Marriage Coaching along with her respected teacher and coach, Ustadha Hedaya Hartford in an effort to support households to establish peace and harmony as Allah Almighty intended.
Together with Ustadha Hedaya, Dr. Ayiesha currently also offers marriage coaching for individuals and couples at www.muslimmarriagecoaching.com.
Dr. Ayiesha lives in the UK with her husband, Mufti Abu Yusuf who works at Fiqh Council of Birmingham and her four children, masha Allah.
- MBChB University of Birmingham 2005
- Qualified as a General Practitioner 2014
- Primary Care Certificate in Homeopathy 2014
- Master NLP practitioner, hypnotherapist, timeline therapist and NLP coach 2015
- Acupuncture training with BMAS 2016
- Strategic intervention 2016
- PG CERT in Personalised Nutrition University of Middlesex 2017
Her clients have described her as: kind, gentle, positive, encouraging, funny, talented, supportive, humble, life changing, wise, goal orientated, inspiring, open-minded, nonjudgmental, mindful, strong, honest, understanding, motivating, encouraging, and challenges her clients.